Cancer diagnosis: 11 tips for coping

If you've been diagnosed with cancer, knowing what to expect and making plans for how to proceed can help make this stressful time easier.

By Mayo Clinic Staff

Learning that you have cancer is a difficult experience. After your cancer diagnosis, you may feel anxious, afraid or overwhelmed and wonder how you can cope during the days ahead. Here are 11 suggestions for coping with a cancer diagnosis.

Get the facts about your cancer diagnosis

Try to obtain as much basic, useful information about your cancer diagnosis as you need in order to make decisions about your care.

Write down your questions and concerns beforehand and bring them with you. Consider asking:

  • What kind of cancer do I have?
  • Where is the cancer?
  • Has it spread?
  • Can my cancer be treated?
  • What is the chance that my cancer can be cured?
  • What other tests or procedures do I need?
  • What are my treatment options?
  • How will the treatment benefit me?
  • What can I expect during treatment?
  • What are the side effects of the treatment?
  • When should I call the doctor?
  • What can I do to prevent my cancer from recurring?
  • How likely are my children or other family members to get cancer?

Consider bringing a family member or friend with you to your first few doctor appointments to help you remember what you hear.

You might also want to consider how much you want to know about your cancer. Some people want all the facts and details, so they can be very involved in the decision-making process. Others prefer to learn the basics and leave details and decisions to their doctors. Think about which approach works best for you. Let your health care team know what you'd prefer.

Keep the lines of communication open

Maintain honest, two-way communication with your loved ones, doctors and others after your cancer diagnosis. You may feel particularly isolated if people try to protect you from bad news or if you try to put up a strong front. If you and others express emotions honestly, you can all gain strength from each other.

Anticipate possible physical changes

Now — after your cancer diagnosis and before you begin treatment — is the best time to plan for changes. Prepare yourself now so that you'll be better able to cope later.

Ask your doctor what changes you should anticipate. If drugs will cause hair loss, advice from image experts about clothing, makeup, wigs and hairpieces may help you feel more comfortable and attractive. Insurance often helps pay for wigs, prostheses and other adaptive devices.

Members of cancer support groups may be particularly helpful in this area and can provide tips that have helped them and others.

Also consider how treatment will impact your daily activities. Ask your doctor whether you can expect to continue your normal routine. You may need to spend time in the hospital or have frequent medical appointments. If your treatment will require a leave of absence from your normal duties, make arrangements for this.

Maintain a healthy lifestyle

This can improve your energy level. Choose a healthy diet consisting of a variety of foods and get adequate rest in order to help you manage the stress and fatigue of the cancer and its treatment.

Exercise and participating in enjoyable activities also may help. Recent data suggest that people who maintain some physical exercise during treatment not only cope better but also may live longer.

Let friends and family help you

Often friends and family can run errands, provide transportation, prepare meals and help you with household chores. Learn to accept their help. Accepting help gives those who care about you a sense of making a contribution at a difficult time.

Also encourage your family to accept help if it's needed. A cancer diagnosis affects the entire family and adds stress, especially to the primary caregivers. Accepting help with meals or chores from neighbors or friends can go a long way in preventing caregiver burnout.

Review your goals and priorities

Determine what's really important in your life. Find time for the activities that are most important to you and give you the most meaning.

If needed, try to find a new openness with loved ones. Share your thoughts and feelings with them. Cancer affects all of your relationships. Communication can help reduce the anxiety and fear that cancer can cause.

Try to maintain your normal lifestyle

Maintain your normal lifestyle, but be open to modifying it as necessary. Take one day at a time. It's easy to overlook this simple strategy during stressful times. When the future is uncertain, organizing and planning may suddenly seem overwhelming.

Consider how your diagnosis will impact your finances

Many unexpected financial burdens can arise as a result of a cancer diagnosis. Your treatment may require time away from work or an extended time away from home. Consider the additional costs of medications, medical devices, traveling for treatment and parking fees at the hospital.

Many clinics and hospitals keep lists of resources to help you financially during and after your cancer treatment. Talk with your health care team about your options.

Questions to ask include:

  • Will I have to take time away from work?
  • Will my friends and family need to take time away from work to be with me?
  • Will my insurance pay for these treatments?
  • Will my insurance cover the cost of medications?
  • How much will my out-of-pocket costs be?
  • If insurance won't pay for my treatment, are there assistance programs that can help?
  • Do I qualify for disability benefits?
  • How does my diagnosis affect my life insurance?

Talk to other people with cancer

Sometimes it will feel as if people who haven't experienced a cancer diagnosis can't fully understand how you're feeling. It may help to talk to people who have been in your situation. Other cancer survivors can share their experiences and give you insight into what you can expect during treatment.

You may have a friend or family member who has had cancer. Or you can connect with other cancer survivors through support groups. Ask your doctor about support groups in your area or contact your local chapter of the American Cancer Society. Online message boards also bring cancer survivors together. Start with the American Cancer Society's Cancer Survivors Network.

Fight stigmas

Some old stigmas associated with cancer still exist. Your friends may wonder if your cancer is contagious. Co-workers may doubt you're healthy enough to do your job, and some may withdraw for fear of saying the wrong thing. Many people will have questions and concerns.

Determine how you'll deal with others' behaviors toward you. By and large, others will take their cues from you. Remind friends that even if cancer has been a frightening part of your life, it shouldn't make them afraid to be around you.

Develop your own coping strategy

Just as each person's cancer treatment is individualized, so is the coping strategy. Ideas to try:

  • Practice relaxation techniques.
  • Share your feelings honestly with family, friends, a spiritual adviser or a counselor.
  • Keep a journal to help organize your thoughts.
  • When faced with a difficult decision, list the pros and cons for each choice.
  • Find a source of spiritual support.
  • Set aside time to be alone.
  • Remain involved with work and leisure activities as much as you can.

What comforted you through rough times before your cancer diagnosis is likely to help ease your worries now, whether that's a close friend, religious leader or a favorite activity that recharges you. Turn to these comforts now, but also be open to trying new coping strategies.

Nov. 03, 2018 See more In-depth

See also

  1. Adjuvant therapy for cancer
  2. After a flood, are food and medicines safe to use?
  3. Alternative cancer treatments: 10 options to consider
  4. Atypical cells: Are they cancer?
  5. Biological therapy for cancer
  6. Biopsy procedures
  7. Blood Basics
  8. Bone marrow transplant
  9. Bone scan
  10. Cancer
  11. Cancer blood tests
  12. Myths about cancer causes
  13. Infographic: Cancer Clinical Trials Offer Many Benefits
  14. Cancer diagnosis? Advice for dealing with what comes next
  15. Cancer-related fatigue
  16. Cancer pain: Relief is possible
  17. Cancer-prevention strategies
  18. Cancer risk: What the numbers mean
  19. Cancer surgery
  20. Cancer survival rate
  21. Cancer survivors: Care for your body after treatment
  22. Cancer survivors: Late effects of cancer treatment
  23. Cancer survivors: Managing your emotions after cancer treatment
  24. Cancer survivors: Reconnecting with loved ones after treatment
  25. Cancer treatment decisions: 5 steps to help you decide
  26. Cancer treatment for men: Possible sexual side effects
  27. Cancer treatment for women: Possible sexual side effects
  28. Cancer treatment myths
  29. Cancer Vaccine Research
  30. Cellphones and cancer
  31. Chemo Targets
  32. Chemoembolization
  33. Chemotherapy
  34. Chemotherapy and hair loss: What to expect during treatment
  35. Chemotherapy and sex: Is sexual activity OK during treatment?
  36. Chemotherapy nausea and vomiting: Prevention is best defense
  37. Chemotherapy side effects: A cause of heart disease?
  38. Complete blood count (CBC)
  39. Cough
  40. CT scan
  41. CT scans: Are they safe?
  42. Curcumin: Can it slow cancer growth?
  43. Cancer-related diarrhea
  44. Eating during cancer treatment: Tips to make food tastier
  45. Fatigue
  46. Fertility preservation
  47. Get ready for possible side effects of chemotherapy
  48. Ginger for nausea: Does it work?
  49. High-dose vitamin C: Can it kill cancer cells?
  50. How plant-based food helps fight cancer
  51. Intrathecal chemotherapy
  52. Joint pain
  53. Joint pain: Rheumatoid arthritis or parvovirus?
  54. Low blood counts
  55. Magic mouthwash
  56. Medical marijuana
  57. Mediterranean diet recipes
  58. Mindfulness exercises
  59. Monoclonal antibody drugs
  60. Mort Crim and Cancer
  61. Mouth sores caused by cancer treatment: How to cope
  62. MRI
  63. Muscle pain
  64. Night sweats
  65. No appetite? How to get nutrition during cancer treatment
  66. Palliative care
  67. Palliative care
  68. PALS (Pets Are Loving Support)
  69. Pelvic exenteration
  70. PET/MRI scan
  71. Pet therapy
  72. Radiation therapy
  73. Infographic: Scalp Cooling Therapy for Cancer
  74. Secondhand smoke
  75. Seeing Inside the Heart with MRI
  76. Self-Image During Cancer
  77. Sentinel lymph node mapping
  78. Sisters' Bone Marrow Transplant
  79. Sleep tips
  80. Mediterranean diet
  81. Radiation simulation
  82. Small cell, large cell cancer: What this means
  83. Stem Cells 101
  84. Stem cells: What they are and what they do
  85. Thalidomide: Research advances in cancer and other conditions
  86. Treating pain: When is an opioid the right choice?
  87. Tumor vs. cyst: What's the difference?
  88. Ultrasound
  89. Unexplained weight loss
  90. Stem cell transplant
  91. How cancer spreads
  92. MRI
  93. PICC line placement
  94. Compassionate use
  95. When cancer returns: How to cope with cancer recurrence
  96. X-ray
  97. Your secret weapon during cancer treatment? Exercise!