Spending time with family can be both a source of joy and a top cause of stress.
So if one part of you wants to travel to see your family while the other part would rather just stay home, that's understandable. Few people want to explain why they're still single or defend their reasons for not eating the holiday turkey.
Mayo Clinic experts offer these suggestions for taking care of yourself when you're a guest in someone else's house.
Take a timeout
When you're stressed, it becomes that much more important to take care of yourself, says Beth K. Rush, Ph.D., a neuropsychologist at Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville, Florida. That's when you need to make sure you're sleeping, eating well and exercising.
One way to do that is to take time for yourself even if you're staying with your in-laws or visiting your hometown.
"If you're feeling frustrated, short on time or impatient, you have to go back to the basics of asking, 'Have I done anything for myself today? Should I take a minute? Do I have to be the one who does it all?' " says Dr. Rush. "We tend to think of self-care as always going out and doing something like getting our nails done or going to the gym, but sometimes self-care is about just pausing."
When you're feeling overwhelmed or emotionally drained, excuse yourself for a break. You could find a place to close your eyes for a few minutes and breathe or go out for a walk.
Set some boundaries
Personal boundaries are individual rules a person sets to maintain what's important. Before you travel, consider what's nonnegotiable to you and communicate that to your hosts, if needed. For example:
- I go for a run every morning.
- I don't talk about my dating life.
- I need you to call me by the name and pronouns I use.
It's also important to enforce your limits. If necessary, tell family members what the consequences will be. For example, "If you drink alcohol, my kids and I will leave."
Knowing and sharing your boundaries can make your visits more enjoyable. Sharing your own boundaries also can make it safe for your family members to do the same. With common understanding, sharing time under the same roof can bring more joy than frustration.