Staying Together Through Life's Challenges

Thursday, August 11, 2005

ROCHESTER, Minn. — Keeping a marriage happy can be hard work — no matter how long you've been together. Add in health issues that often arise with age, and the challenge is even greater.

The August issue of Mayo Clinic Health Letter offers suggestions to keep marriage on a positive track, whatever the source of conflict.

Keep communication positive. Patterns of communication — likely firmly established if you've been married a long time — sometimes don't reflect the caring that couples feel for each other. Ask yourself, "Are we as respectful to each other as we would be to a stranger?" If not, you'll want to work on your communication skills by making a daily habit of being cordial and polite, choosing words with care.

Recognize when a health issue is affecting your marriage. Memory loss, chronic pain, limited mobility, hearing loss and other health conditions can affect your relationship. Sometimes solutions are straightforward — for instance, a hearing aid. Sometimes, more far-reaching solutions are needed, such as moving into a one-level home or retirement community.

Get help when you need it. If you're in a long-lasting marriage, for better or worse, you care for each other in a deep and meaningful way. If the going gets difficult, seek out help through community resources, a therapist, your family doctor or at your place of worship. The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy provides information on how to choose a marriage therapist.

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Mayo Clinic Health Letter is an eight-page monthly newsletter of reliable, accurate and practical information on today's health and medical news. To subscribe, please call toll free 800-333-9037, extension 9PR1.

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To obtain the latest news releases from Mayo Clinic, go to www.mayoclinic.org/news. HealthLetter.MayoClinic.com is available as a resource for your health stories.