Medical Edge Newspaper Column

Intimacy Problems After Pregnancy

May 6, 2007
Dear Mayo Clinic:
With 20 pounds to lose post-pregnancy, I feel fat and uncomfortable being intimate with my husband. Is this normal? What should I do?

Answer:
It is normal to experience a challenge adjusting to your body after pregnancy. After the birth, you reclaim your body as yours alone -- but your body has changed. The challenge is to integrate your "before" body image with the realities after pregnancy. You can be desirable and sexy with the round softness and wider hips that come with maternity.

Your size, weight and shape will continue to change in the months after the birth, Just as they did during pregnancy. Try noticing when and how to feel sensuous in the body you have now. As you are able, find reasonable ways to take care of yourself with exercise and healthy eating. (And try to get some sleep.)

It's important to share your concerns with your husband; both of you are adjusting to sexual intimacy after pregnancy. Acknowledging your concerns can put you both at ease and support intimacy. After all, men can only appreciate the physical changes and challenges during and after pregnancy through a woman's personal sharing. If you aren't ready for sex, find other ways to show affection.

Remember, the shift from the youthful body of an adolescent to the softer shape of a body after it has borne a child is a natural and normal change.

-- Jan Swanson, Psy.D., LP, Women's Health Clinic, Mayo Clinic, Rochester, Minn.