Pregnancy and you blog

Intimacy after pregnancy and delivery: Is there such a thing?

By Mary M. Murry, R.N., C.N.M. December 5, 2008

I am sorry for the very long period of silence in my blog. I was ill and in the hospital but am beginning to feel better now.

I had promised a follow-up on the previous article about sex in pregnancy. If you are recently delivered, you may be asking why would you ever have sex again? You are sleep deprived, you are tired of having vaginal drainage, and if breastfeeding, you have sympathy for all the cows of the world.

You might also have some fears about pain and discomfort, or be afraid that your husband might look at you in a different way after having watched you deliver a baby. I remember my fear after having my 10 pound baby was that my vagina would be too big, a cavernous, echoing vault. Silly me, everything was as it should be.

You will have sex again and it will be pleasurable again. It just might take some effort. Clear your mind to the best of your ability. If you are making a grocery list, or thinking about the laundry or keeping an ear open for the baby, you will not be enjoying yourself as much. Don't have intercourse in the same room as the baby. If you have a baby monitor, turn it off.

Some women who are nursing will worry about leaking during love making. Often, if you can keep your mind off of the baby you won't have much problem with this. Being well lubricated during intercourse can be a problem. Have a personal lubricant handy and use it; some for you, some for him. Basically you should adopt the rule, the slipperier the better.

In my opinion the most important rule is to take your time. It doesn't have to happen until you are ready. If you try and it is uncomfortable, wait and try in a few days. Keep communication open and loving. Oh yes, do use birth control if you don't want another baby right away.

Please share your experiences and questions with us.

15 Comments Posted

Dec. 05, 2008