How should a single parent talk to a child about separation or divorce?
Many single-parent families are the result of divorce or separation. If this is the case in your family, talk to your child about the changes you're facing. Listen to your child's feelings and try to answer his or her questions honestly — avoiding unnecessary details or negativity about the other parent. Remind your child that he or she did nothing to cause the divorce or separation and that you'll always love him or her. A counselor might be able to help you and your child talk about problems, fears or concerns. Try to regularly communicate with your child's other parent about your child's care and well-being to help him or her adapt.
How can a single parent handle dating?
If you're dating, consider the fact that your new romantic partner will have an impact on your child. Look for a partner who will treat both you and your child with respect. Consider waiting until you've established a solid relationship with someone before introducing him or her to your child. When you're ready to make the introduction, explain to your child some of your new partner's positive qualities. Don't expect your new partner and your child to become close immediately, however. Give them time to get to know each other and develop a relationship.
How can a single parent address the lack of a male or female parental role model for a child?
If your child's other parent isn't involved in his or her life, you might worry about the lack of a male or female parental role model in your child's life. To send positive messages about the opposite sex:
- Look for opportunities to be positive about the opposite sex. Point out accomplishments or positive characteristics of members of the opposite sex in your family, the community or even the media. Avoid making broad, negative statements about the opposite sex.
- Contradict negative stereotypes about the opposite sex. Share an example of a member of the opposite sex who doesn't fit the stereotype.
- Include in your life members of the opposite sex who aren't romantic partners. Seek out positive relationships with responsible members of the opposite sex who might serve as role models for your child. Show your child that it's possible to have long-term, positive relationships with members of the opposite sex.
Being a single parent can be a challenging but rewarding experience. By showing your love and respect, talking honestly and staying positive, you can lessen the stress of single parenting and help your child thrive.
Jun. 22, 2011
See more In-depth
- Single parenting. American Academy of Pediatrics. http://patiented.aap.org/content.aspx?aid=5029. Accessed March 25, 2011.
- Single parenting and today's family. American Psychological Association. http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/single-parent.aspx. Accessed March 25, 2011.
- Blackwell DL. Family structure and children's health in the United States: Findings from the National Health Interview Survey, 2001-2007. National Center for Health Statistics. http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/series/sr_10/sr10_246.pdf. Accessed March 25, 2011.
- Huffman FG, et al. Parenting - A contributing factor to childhood obesity. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health. 2010;7:2800.
- Doherty WJ, et al. Single mothers raising children with "male-positive" attitudes. Family Process. 2011;50:63.
- Shelov SP, et al. Caring for Your Baby and Young Child: Birth to Age 5. 5th ed. New York, N.Y.: Bantam Books; 2009:739.
- Children and divorce. American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. http://www.aamft.org/imis15/Content/Consumer_Updates/Children_and_Divorce.aspx. Accessed April 22, 2011.
- Hall-Flavin DK (expert opinion). Mayo Clinic, Rochester, Minn. April 25, 2011.
- Hoecker JL (expert opinion). Mayo Clinic, Rochester, Minn. April 26, 2011.
- Greydanus DE, et al. Caring For Your Teenager. New York, N.Y.: Bantam Books; 2003:110.