Single parent? Tips for raising a child aloneRaising a child on your own can be stressful. If you're a single parent, understand how to cope with the pressure, find support and nurture your child.
By Mayo Clinic Staff
If you're raising a child on your own, you're in good company. Single-parent families are more common than ever. Know how to manage some of the special challenges single parents experience and what you can do to raise a happy, healthy child.
What are the most common single-parent challenges?
Child rearing can be difficult under any circumstances. Without a partner, the stakes are even higher. As a single parent, you might have sole responsibility for all aspects of day-to-day child care. This can result in added pressure, stress and fatigue. If you're too tired or distracted to be emotionally supportive or consistently discipline your child, behavioral problems might arise. In addition, single-parent families generally have lower incomes and less access to health care. Juggling work and child care can be financially difficult and socially isolating. You might also worry about the lack of a male or female parental role model for your child.
How can a single parent deal with these challenges?
To reduce stress in your single-parent family:
Jun. 22, 2011
- Show your love. Remember to praise your child. Give him or her your unconditional love and support.
- Create a routine. Structure — such as regularly scheduled meals and bedtimes — helps your child know what to expect.
- Prioritize family time. Set aside time each day to play, read or simply sit with your child.
- Find quality child care. Although an older sibling can sometimes care for a younger sibling, don't rely on an older child as your only baby sitter. Be careful about asking a new friend or partner to watch your child. If you need regular child care, look for a qualified caregiver who can provide stimulation in a safe environment.
- Set reasonable limits. Explain house rules and expectations to your child — such as speaking respectfully and picking up after yourself — and be careful to enforce them. Work with the other caregivers in your child's life to ensure you're providing consistent discipline. Consider re-evaluating certain limits, such as your child's computer time or curfew, when he or she demonstrates the ability to accept more responsibility.
- Don't feel guilty. Don't blame yourself or spoil your child to try to make up for being a single parent.
- Take care of yourself. Include physical activity in your daily routine, eat a healthy diet and get plenty of sleep. Arrange time to do activities you enjoy alone or with close friends.
- Lean on others. Just because you're a single parent doesn't mean you have to do everything yourself. Work out a carpool schedule with other parents. Join a support group for single parents or seek social services. Call on trusted loved ones, friends and neighbors for help. Faith communities can be helpful resources, too.
- Stay positive. Your mood and attitude can affect your child. It's OK to be honest with your child if you're having a difficult time, but remind him or her that things will get better. Try to keep your sense of humor when dealing with everyday challenges.
See more In-depth
- Single parenting. American Academy of Pediatrics. http://patiented.aap.org/content.aspx?aid=5029. Accessed March 25, 2011.
- Single parenting and today's family. American Psychological Association. http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/single-parent.aspx. Accessed March 25, 2011.
- Blackwell DL. Family structure and children's health in the United States: Findings from the National Health Interview Survey, 2001-2007. National Center for Health Statistics. http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/series/sr_10/sr10_246.pdf. Accessed March 25, 2011.
- Huffman FG, et al. Parenting - A contributing factor to childhood obesity. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health. 2010;7:2800.
- Doherty WJ, et al. Single mothers raising children with "male-positive" attitudes. Family Process. 2011;50:63.
- Shelov SP, et al. Caring for Your Baby and Young Child: Birth to Age 5. 5th ed. New York, N.Y.: Bantam Books; 2009:739.
- Children and divorce. American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. http://www.aamft.org/imis15/Content/Consumer_Updates/Children_and_Divorce.aspx. Accessed April 22, 2011.
- Hall-Flavin DK (expert opinion). Mayo Clinic, Rochester, Minn. April 25, 2011.
- Hoecker JL (expert opinion). Mayo Clinic, Rochester, Minn. April 26, 2011.
- Greydanus DE, et al. Caring For Your Teenager. New York, N.Y.: Bantam Books; 2003:110.