Pregnancy loss: How to cope

Pregnancy loss changes your family forever. To survive the emotional impact of pregnancy loss, take good care of yourself and turn to others for support. By Mayo Clinic Staff

Pregnancy loss is devastating, no matter when it happens or what the circumstances. With time, however, comes healing. Allow yourself to mourn your pregnancy loss and accept what's happened — and then look toward the future.

Understand the grieving process

After a pregnancy loss, you might experience a range of emotions, including:

  • Denial. At first, it might be impossible to grasp what's happened. You might find yourself in shock or disbelief.
  • Guilt. You might wonder if you could have done anything to avoid the pregnancy loss.
  • Anger. No matter what caused your loss, you might be angry at yourself, your spouse or partner, your doctor or a higher power. You might also feel angry at the unfairness of your loss.
  • Depression. You might develop symptoms of depression — such as loss of interest or pleasure in normal activities, changes in eating or sleeping habits, and trouble concentrating and making decisions.
  • Envy. You might intensely envy expectant parents. It might suddenly seem like babies and pregnant women are everywhere you look.
  • Yearning. You might experience feelings of deep or anxious longing and desire to be with your baby. You might also imagine what you would be doing with your baby now.

Other loved ones, including the baby's grandparents, might experience similar emotions — including anxiety, bitterness and helplessness.

Grieving takes time. During the grieving process some emotions might pass quickly, while others linger. You might skip others completely.

You might also experience setbacks, such as feelings of anger or guilt creeping back after you thought you had moved on. Certain situations — such as attending a baby shower or seeing a new baby — might be difficult for you to face. That's OK. Excuse yourself from potentially painful situations until you're ready to handle them.

Jul. 10, 2013 See more In-depth